Zachary Ninteman

Motivating the Masses to Live The Best Life

Author: Zachary

  • You Are Exactly Where You Need To Be

    You are exactly where you need to beRight here. Right now. You are exactly where you need to be.

    Life has a divine way of putting you where you need to be. There is a plan for you that you are working towards, whether you accept it or not.

    I know this is out there, especially if you are not a religious or spiritual person. The fact that you are not in control, you are just a little puppet on a grandeur plan that we can ever comprehend, is a tough pill to swallow.

    This was difficult for me to understand for a long time. But once you can gain this understanding, and just work through the life where you are at, and being able to take a step back and say “In this moment, I am exactly where I need to be”, your life will soar.

    You Are Exactly Where You Need To Be

    Don’t get me wrong. Life hits like a ton of bricks sometimes, and it is hard to understand this.

    In 2003, I lost all of my possession when a wildfire took my house. I thought my life was over.

    In 2005, I flunked out of San Diego State University. For a guy who identified himself as an “above average smart guy”, I thought my life was over.

    in 2009, I literally had $.49 cents in my bank account and needed to buy groceries for the week, as well as try to plan a wedding with my then fiancé. I thought my life was over.

    In 2013, my wife got pregnant and we lost the baby at 12 weeks. More than anything above, I thought my life was over.

    But it wasn’t over.

    Those feelings I had made it feel like it was over in that moment in time. Especially with the miscarriage, which put me in such a dark place, it affected my mindset in other areas of my life that were going good, that I made intentionally go bad because that is where I was at in life.

    Hindsight is 20/20, and I know it is very difficult when you are in the moment to see it, but in each of those moments looking back, I was exactly where I needed to be. I am grateful for these events.

    Many aren’t grateful. Other people have gone through the same – we all know people who have been through these or other events. Yet some dwell on the bad. Some people want the pity vote and continue to live on the sadness of the past and try to blame life for having these things happen to them.

    These were the best things for me. They got me here, right now, right here. And at this moment, I am exactly where I need to be.

    You Are Exactly Where You Need To Be

    The fire? That made me fall in love with the woman who is now my wife, and the mother of my children. And at this moment I am exactly where I need to be.

    Flunking out of school? That gave me a passion for education, both formal and informal, for reading, podcast, taking in information inside and outside of the classroom, that I still have today. And in this moment I am exactly where I need to be.

    Can’t afford to eat? That made me learn how to get creative creating money, hustle to get by and realize that I can get by with little. And in this moment I am exactly where I need to be.

    Having a miscarriage on your first pregnancy? This one blows my mind. If we would have carried our first pregnancy to term, our son Mason, who is the single most important fuel for the light in my life, would not be here.  I would have loved that first baby with my every being, and Mason wouldn’t even be a thought for me. But I could not imagine my life without Mason. He literally changed my life. And although I did not see it for 3 months after the miscarriage, now – in this moment, I am exactly where I need to be.

    Peaks and ValleysWhen you are in the low of the valley, the journey to the peak seems far. But life is valley and peaks. It takes the valley to see the peaks and once you are on the peak, it is a quick roll to the bottom of the valley. But know that in this moment – this exact moment right now reading these words – you are exactly where you need to be. Life has put you here, through a series of events that may have been pleasant, or may have been painful, but it put you here, in this moment. I want you to take a big deep breath, close your eyes, and say out loud, to the world…

    “Thank you world. I am grateful for this moment. Everything has led me here, and in this moment, I am exactly where I need to be.”

    But just don’t say it. Really feel it. Really feel that gratitude for your life, for this moment that you have. Because it truly is an amazing moment.

    Everything in your life has led to this moment – has led you right here right now. Be happy for that. Be grateful for that. Feel the gratitude with everything you have and be thankful for this exact moment in time.

    I want you to think about your own life, the low valleys, and the highest peaks. What did you go through that brought you here, right now? What events made you who you are?

    Maybe you lost someone, only to find yourself.

    Maybe you had a divorce that destroyed your world, only to find someone that made your world stronger.

    Maybe you had dark times, only to be the shining light in someone else’s life.

    Maybe you lost your job, only to start your own business.

    Everything you go through has led you right here, good or bad. You may be reading this after a dark time, a valley, something bad in your life. But life put you here. And life will take you up the peak. Just be grateful in this moment.

    In this moment, you are exactly where you need to be.

  • How Do I Fix Myself?

    How Do I Fix Myself?

    In a world where quick fixes and instant gratification are often sought after solutions to deep-seated issues, the question of “How do I fix myself?” emerges as a poignant reflection of the internal struggle many of us face. This question isn’t merely about seeking temporary remedies but a profound journey towards self-improvement and living a fulfilling life.

    The quest for self-improvement is not a path laden with easy shortcuts or magical cures. It demands commitment, hard work, and a willingness to engage in a continuous process of self-discovery and growth. The essence of personal development lies in embracing the journey of evolving oneself, encompassing every aspect of your being—physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.

    The Foundation of Self-Improvement

    To embark on this transformative journey, it’s crucial to return to the foundational principles of personal development. These principles serve as the bedrock upon which you can build a better version of yourself. They are timeless, universal, and applicable to various facets of life, be it personal, professional, or relational.

    Eat Right

    Nutrition plays a pivotal role in shaping our physical and mental well-being. A balanced diet rich in nutrients fuels the body, enhances cognitive function, and stabilizes emotions. Making conscious food choices is the first step toward self-care and respect for your body.

    Exercise Regularly

    Physical activity is not just about maintaining a healthy weight; it’s a powerful stimulant for mental health, releasing endorphins that boost mood and energy levels. Regular exercise fosters resilience, discipline, and a sense of accomplishment.

    Embrace Nature

    The healing power of nature is profound. Fresh air and sunlight not only rejuvenate the body but also bring clarity and peace to the mind. Spending time outdoors is a simple yet effective way to reduce stress, enhance mood, and reconnect with oneself.

    Cultivate Hobbies

    Engaging in hobbies and interests sparks joy, creativity, and a sense of purpose. Whether it’s art, music, gardening, or any other pursuit, hobbies provide an outlet for self-expression and personal growth.

    Read Widely

    Books are gateways to knowledge, wisdom, and inspiration. They expand our perspectives, challenge our thoughts, and enrich our understanding of the world and ourselves. A commitment to lifelong learning through reading is a commitment to personal evolution.

    Develop New Skills

    Learning new skills pushes us out of our comfort zones, builds confidence, and opens doors to new opportunities. The process of mastering new abilities demonstrates the incredible potential for growth and adaptability inherent in all of us.

    Challenge Yourself

    Growth occurs at the edge of our comfort zones. Setting and striving for challenging goals fosters resilience, perseverance, and a sense of achievement. Challenges help us discover our strengths and overcome limitations.

    Plan and Execute

    Success in any area of life requires thoughtful planning and relentless execution. Setting clear goals, devising actionable plans, and following through with dedication reflect a disciplined approach to personal development.

    Learn from Mistakes

    Mistakes are inevitable on the path to self-improvement. Rather than viewing them as failures, embrace them as valuable learning opportunities. Reflecting on and learning from mistakes is crucial for growth and progress.

    Strive for Progress

    The goal of personal development is not perfection but progress. Celebrate small victories, acknowledge growth, and continuously strive to be a better version of yourself each day.

    Work Hard and Sweat

    Effort and perseverance are indispensable. The journey toward self-improvement demands hard work, dedication, and the resilience to push through challenges.

    The Role of Personal Responsibility

    At the heart of the question “How do I fix myself?” lies the principle of personal responsibility. The journey toward self-improvement is deeply personal and cannot be outsourced. It is about taking ownership of your life, your choices, and your actions. Recognizing that you have the power and the responsibility to shape your destiny is the first step towards meaningful change.

    Too often, individuals seek external validation or solutions, hoping for someone else to provide the answers or take the blame for their circumstances. However, true transformation begins with the acknowledgment that you are the architect of your life. Embracing personal responsibility means committing to the hard work of self-improvement, making conscious choices, and taking actionable steps towards your goals.

    Moving Beyond the Basics

    While the foundational principles of personal development are crucial, moving beyond the basics involves a deeper exploration of oneself. It requires introspection, self-awareness, and an openness to change. Understanding your values, beliefs, and emotional patterns is essential for breaking free from self-imposed limitations and fostering genuine growth.

    As you embark on this journey, remember that self-improvement is not a destination but a continuous process. It is about evolving, adapting, and striving for a life that is aligned with your true self. Embrace the journey with patience, compassion, and a relentless spirit of self-discovery.

    Conclusion

    The question “How do I fix myself?” is a call to action—a prompt to engage in the lifelong journey of personal development. By returning to the foundational principles and embracing the path of self-improvement with dedication and personal responsibility, you can transform your life. Remember, the power to change lies within you. It’s about making a conscious decision to invest in yourself, to grow, and to live your best life possible.

  • A Time For Everything

    It is far to easy in our world to get caught up in life and lose perspective. There is a time for everything, and it is important to take a step back and realize that through and through.

    A time for everything is a theme throughout different religions and spiritual practices.

    In the Tao Te Ching, Lao Tzu talks about the time for everything:

    As in the nature of things,
    there is a time for being ahead
    and a time for being behind;
    a time for ease
    and a time for strain;
    a time to be hard
    and a time to be soft;
    a time to grow in strength
    and a time to decay.

    In the Bible, Ecclesiastes 3 says there is a time for everything:

    There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

    a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
    a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
    a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
    a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
    a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

    There is a time for everything.

    a time for everythingSo many times – we try to do what we can to restrict the bad times and enhance the good. We think that in the bad is bad, and in the good is good. But there cannot be good, without bad. There cannot be light, without darkness. There cannot be good, without evil. This law of polarity is what makes us understand that without the bad, we cannot have good.

    Once you understand this, surrendering to life becomes easier. And becomes easier because you know it is the time of life that you need to go through this. You know that the higher power at be in the world dictates that you are at this time, to move you through the next time.

    You must break down before you can breakthrough.

    Rock needs to get weathered down before it can turn to the soil to replant the earth. So must we. Every single thing negative that has gone on your life that time for a specific reason – to set up the future good. That sometimes is a hard pill to swallow because you wonder how much bad can go on and ultimately equal good.

    I recall the first pregnancy that my wife had which resulted in a miscarriage at 10 weeks. To say I was devastated was an understatement. My world went so bleak, far beyond anything I had in the past. I thought I would never be able to get over something like that. That was my time to cry, my time to hurt, my time to grieve. And I had to go through that time in order to be here – now – with 2 beautiful boys and a family that still is hard to believe is in my life every day. If that first pregnancy comes to fruition, I would not have my boys as I have now – and I would not be in this moment of life where I am at now. That is the power of the universe working for you.

    I am not sitting here trying to tell you that whenever something bad happens, immediately look for the good. Grieve. Remember, there is a TIME for everything, so if you are going through a time to grieve, grieve. If you are going through a time to strain, go through the strain. But know for the time going through the strain, ease is right behind it. And you have to go through the strain to get to the ease.

    Breakdown to Breakthrough

    Life isn’t just about building up and up and up. That actually is very anti-climatic. If everything was all success all the time, where would the learning be? Where would the time in these other areas be? Where would you be?

    You have to breakdown to breakthrough. You have to go through the hurt and pain and suffering and strain to know that there is the opposite on the other side. Those dark times may be dark – but there is ALWAYS blue sky behind rain clouds. Moving through the dark times to be able to feel the warm sunshine on your face is why we go through the dark times.

    And keep in mind that there will be more dark times. For as dark times lead to the light, the light will lead to the darkness again. Such is the cycle of life – a time for everything. So embrace the beautiful times, knowing they are short, and push through the dark times, knowing they are such.

    Such is the success in life – a time for everything.

  • Move Forward In Life

    Life is constantly in a state of movement. You are either progressing or regressing. Nothing stands still. Albeit the change could be small in either direction, there is never a moment that you do not move forward or backward in your life – ever.

    Black and White.

    Up or down.

    Left or Right.

    Good or bad.

    Positive or negative.

    Forward or backward.

    That is just how the world works. Here is the great news though: YOU have the power to decide if it is forward or backward.

    move forward in lifeLook – sh*tty things happen in life. Trust me – I get that. And it can send you down the spiral of despair very easily. But to get up from that – to realize that things that happen are just things that happen – and you can move forward on them – is a powerful mind shift.

    To be able to look at traumatic events, events that scar us deeper than we ever understand, incidents that you never expect that send you into the darkness, and to take a deep breathe knowing that they are just life presenting itself to us in a matter that eventually will move us forward, is how you get over the grips of despair.

    Or don’t. You can let it define you. You can look at the event as life happens TO you, not FOR you. You can choose to look for the darkness that surrounds you, instead of the light to get out. You can forever think that you are a victim of your circumstance, instead of rising above. You can choose to let the events of your past move you backward.

    There truly is no right way to approach overcoming the past issues in your life because again – life is neither good nor bad, but how you perceive the world – how you perceive the events of your life. Life happens – and it always will. We cannot control the external factors of life. We can control the internal factors of how we view the events in life.

    Choose to move forward, or choose to move backward. The choice is literally only up to you – and to you alone.

    But let me leave you will one last note as you choose: Moving forward gets you closer to the life that you want.

    Not talking about the life that you want. Not dreaming of the life you want. GETTING the life that you want.

    Because moving backward takes you further away. Hiding behind events of the past as a blocker of your success is moving backward. Using your past as an excuse to limit your action to get forward in life is moving backward. Refusing to put in the work needed to overcome the events of the past and refresh your mindset is moving backward.

    But you can choose to stop moving backward, and start moving forward. You can choose to put in the time to overcome whatever blocker is hindering you in your life. You can choose to smash the excuses, call a spade a spade, and be honest with yourself. You can make the new decision that you are no longer a victim in life, but the victor in life.

    But you have to choose. You have to decide. You have to want to move forward.

    Or let it take you back.

    The choice is up to you.

    Choose wisely.

     

  • Do Things That Make You Happy

    Life is a funny thing.

    It is so beautiful, so fragile, so amazing.

    We are cognitive beings, capable of thinking, feeling love, and experiencing joy. We have the ability to run around in the sunshine barefoot on the grass while the wind blows through our hair.

    That is what life is all about. That is living.

    Yet most of us aren’t living. We are dying. Slowly and painfully. People are mad about their jobs. Stress about their finances. Angry at their spouses. We walk around bent sideways under stress, anxiety, and depression, thinking that this is how life is supposed to be. We are in such bad states, that we get angrier when we see those chronically happy and optimistic people prancing and dancing around, saying things like how great it is we have the ability to run around in the sunshine barefoot on the grass while the wind blows through our hair. Who says that?

    I say that.

    And I believe in that.

    The meaning of life is to live. Not waiting to die. Life is about seizing the opportunities, and the moments that make you smile and say “ah”, not holding on to resentment and sadness and depression and anxiety. Let those go – be here in the moment.

    “Oh – well it just isn’t that easy Zach. I know it is easy for you to see in your perfect little world, with your perfect little brain, and say your perfect little hippy sayings. It isn’t that easy”.

    Yes, it is.

    Here is how it is that easy – you ready? Read this next line nice and slow…

    Whatever is causing you to die inside – whatever is causing the stress, depression, anxiety, sadness, resentment, and all other negative feelings – whatever that is – stop doing that thing.

    STOP. DOING. THE. THINGS. THAT. DON’T. MAKE. YOU. HAPPY.

    Go do something that makes you happy. Go be with people that make you happy. Go change our environment to something different to experience something different.

    We all try to spend too much time overthinking how to be happy. We are in information overload with books and podcasts and audiobooks and experts and family and everyone else saying you should do this or you should do that. We hear news stories on how anxiety and depression are on the rise, yet ironically sitting and screen time are as well. We are raised to be brainwashed to try to find work we are passionate about so we never have to work a day in our life, only to struggle in every job we have because we aren’t passionate about it. We spend so much time sliding our thumbs through Facebook and Instagram trying to find someone whose grass is greener than ours and then feeling bad about it. We sit indoors, watching the latest Kardashian garbage, on our laptops, while we text our significant sitting right next to us the latest meme photo we found. And I know someone is reading that last line that is doing EXACTLY that.

    It’s mind-boggling. And not that it is happening, that people don’t know how to fix the problem. Depression and anxiety are running rampant in our society, yet most people don’t want to do a god damn thing to fix it. Because facing the truth in your life is hard. Realizing that it is easier to hide behind the screen than live a life worth living. It is easier to yell at your spouse and belittle them, than start over and find a nurturing relationship. It is easier to go to a job that you hate than tell your boss you quit and hit the pavement again hunting for a new one. It is easier to get used to living cheaply and complain that you never have any money than actually getting your ass in gear and making some dough.

    No one wants to work hard. No one wants to try. They want to sit there and bitch about the problems they have in their life instead of taking steps to make it better. And here is the kicker…

    On your deathbed, your depression doesn’t matter. Your anxiety doesn’t matter. Your fear you had during your life doesn’t matter. Your job doesn’t matter. Your work doesn’t matter. Your money doesn’t matter. Your friends on Instagram don’t matter. It all just doesn’t matter in the end. In the end, you will die. And if you don’t change something, you are doing to die with so much regret in your heart.

    I’d rather have happiness in my heart. I’d rather lay on my death bed, ready for death to come, knowing I created happiness every day of my life, focusing on things I love.